Five Nights at Bender's
by TheAnnoyingAlien
Summary: A Futurama parody of the wildly popular indie horror game "Five Nights at Freddy's" that I wrote especially for Halloween. The Planet Express crew is having a Halloween party, and Professor Farnsworth decides to show off the What-If machine. Fry asks it what it would be like if a certain horror game that he and Bender have been playing lately was real. Happy Halloween, everyone! :)
1. Chapter 1

**"Five Nights at Bender's"**

**Author's Note: For those of you who have never played "Five Nights at Freddy's", I suggest you visit the FNAF wiki and do some reading up on the game before you read my fic, or you may not understand a few things. You could watch somebody's playthrough of it on youtube too I guess to get an idea of how the game works. Markiplier's FNAF playthrough is pretty good :) if any of you want to play it for yourselves, you can buy it for your computer on Steam and there's a mobile version available for the iPhone and Android in the app store. I actually don't have the full game myself; I'm cheap and I already know what happens from watching Markiplier play it so all I have is the free demo version that ends on the second night lol... but yeah, it's a great game and its developer Scott Cawthon is currently working on the sequel, which is coming out sometime in 2015. I'm looking forward to that lol... before I get on with the fic, I have a question for you-since it's Halloween, did any of you guys dress up? If so, what did you dress as? I dressed up as fem!Spock, which is just Spock from Star Trek only female. Last year I dressed as Kif, but almost nobody knew who I was and this middle school kid thought I was a boy lol :P anyways, I'll shut up now. Enjoy the fic everyone, and happy Halloween!**

It was Halloween in New New York, and celebration was in full swing. The streets were crowded with children (as well as a few adults) trick-or-treating, silly Halloween songs were being blared at maximum volume on every radio station, and there was a plethora of parties taking place. One such party was being held at Planet Express. It wasn't as large or as grand as some of the other parties out there, but that didn't mean it wasn't fun. There were delicious Halloween-themed foods and drinks, spooky games to play like duck duck ghost (a clever adaption of duck duck goose that Zoidberg had come up with), and-most importantly-costumes!

It had been rather embarrassing last year when everyone (even the male guests) had shown up in the same slutty schoolgirl ensemble, so the Planet Express crew was glad to see that this year's party had provided a nice, diverse turnout. Professor Farnsworth, wanting to dress as someone that reflected his wisdom, had decided to go as Dumbledore from Harry Potter. Scruffy, keeping with the Harry Potter theme and also incorporating his janitorial role, had gone as Filch. Hermes had decided to go as the stoic and unfailingly polite Samurai Jack, while LaBarbara accompanied him as the beautiful but secretly evil warrior woman Ikra. Cubert and Dwight, being huge video game nerds, were cosplaying as Super Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog, the main men of Nintendo and Sega. However, they didn't hang around the party for very long, as they had made plans to go trick-or-treating with their friend Tinny Tim, who was dressing as Link. Marianne and Zoidberg were both rather obsessed with Game of Thrones and had gone together as Daenerys Targaryen and Khal Drogo while Amy and Kif, who had recently started watching some of Fry's old Star Trek tapes, were dressed as the ever-logical Mister Spock and his lovely bride-to-be T'Pring. Zapp (who wasn't invited but had tagged along with Kif, much to the alien's dismay) had decided that since Kif was going to be Spock, it would only be logical if he went as Captain Kirk, Starfleet's most famed starship captain. Fry, opting for a simple yet unique costume, was dressed as Rayman, a limbless hero from an old video game series he used to play back in the twentieth century. Leela joined him as Ly, Rayman's fairy friend, and she had even dressed Nibbler up as the Grand Minimus, the king of the Teensies. The three of them were currently hanging around the snack table, which was spread with the various treats that they and their friends had brought. Nibbler was wolfing down all the candy corn he could find, while Fry and Leela helped themselves to the scrumptious pumpkin pie that Kif had made. They were well into their second slices when he showed up at the table with Amy at his side.

"Hello Fry, hello Leela." He greeted them. "How does the pie taste?" Fry flashed him a thumbs up and gave a grunt of approval, unable to do much more than that since his mouth was full. Leela seemed to like it too.

"I didn't know you could cook so well, Kif!" She said. "This is the best pumpkin pie I've ever tasted!" Kif smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, well... thank you. I'm glad you like it. I'm certainly no Elzar, but at least my cooking's better than Bender's." He joked.

"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, Kif!" Amy pouted. "Anybody can cook better than Bender! You're just as good a cook as Elzar, maybe even better." A vivid green blush came to Kif's cheeks. He always got a bit flustered whenever Amy said something nice to him.

"Y-you really think so?" He asked her. She nodded and cut a slice of pie for herself.

"Everything you make is delicious. If you don't believe me, try it for yourself." She stuffed a forkful of pie in her mouth and leaned in to kiss him, letting him taste the flavor on her lips. Kif was a little surprised at first, but he quickly melted into the kiss, savoring the feel of his fon fon ru's lips against his own and the perfect blend of pumpkin, nutmeg, and cinnamon from the pie.

"How was it?" Amy asked once they finally pulled away from one another. Kif grinned, knowing exactly what to say.

"Fascinating." He smirked. Amy giggled and kissed him again.

"I wish I could cook as well as Kif." Fry sighed wistfully. "But my cooking's probably more on par with Bender's."

"Speaking of Bender, where is he?" Leela inquired as she poured herself some orange punch. The pie was making her thirsty.

"He's still at our apartment." Fry explained. "He said he was finishing up his costume and that he'd be a little late."

"What's he dressing as?" Asked Kif. Fry thought for a moment, trying to remember if Bender had told him.

"Hmm... you know, he didn't really say…" He admitted. "All he told me was that it was a surprise."

"Oh, great. Zapp's singing again…" Nibbler groaned. "Look." He pointed towards the table in the center of the conference room; Zapp was standing on top of it thrusting his hips and singing loudly into a caramel dipped apple, which he was using in lieu of a microphone.

"I WANT A DEEP FRIED TURKEY; I WANT A MOISTER, TASTIER TURKEY! I WANT A DEEP FRIED TURKEY; I WANT A MOISTER, TASTIER TURKEY!" He chanted. By this time, he'd managed to attract the attention of the other party goers, and a small crowd had gathered around the conference table to watch his fail of a performance. He seemed pleased to have an audience, even though his "fans" were more confused than amused.

"Why are you singing about turkey, mon? It's Halloween, not Thanksgiving!" Hermes pointed out.

"You should sing something else, Sir." Kif advised tersely. "Or better yet, don't sing at all."

"Ooh! Can I request a song?" Fry piped up. "Do you know how to sing 'Walking on Sunshine'?"

"Oh lord… Fry, don't encourage him." Leela grumbled.

"Why don't you sing a Halloween song instead, Zapp?" Suggested Amy.

"A Halloween song, ey? Sure, I can do that! Hmm, let's see, what's a good Halloween song?" Zapp thought aloud. "Aha! I've got one! Ahem… SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE; SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR SOUL AND SEAL YOUR DOOM TONIGHT!" Everyone winced and threw their hands over their ears. Zapp was a horrible singer. He was so bad that he made Rebecca Black sound good!

"Oh, marmalade! This is even worse than the fried turkey song!" Scruffy muttered.

"Someone shut him up!" Cried Zoidberg.

"I'll do it!" Fry volunteered. He set his pie down, climbed up onto the conference table, and pinched Zapp on the neck directly below the ear.

"Fry, what the hell are you doing?" Zapp asked, confused.

"Um… the Vulcan neck pinch?" Fry replied awkwardly. He didn't know what the problem was; it worked all the time on Star Trek!

"No no no! You're doing it all wrong!" Zapp informed him. "You did it way too high! You've gotta go a little lower and pinch down where the shoulder meets the neck."

"You mean like this?" Fry tried doing the neck pinch again, this time pinching Zapp near the base of the neck, right at the shoulder. Zapp nodded approvingly.

"Yeah! Like th-" He started to say, but he fell unconscious before he could finish and collapsed onto the tabletop with a loud thud. Everyone started cheering and applauding for Fry, glad that he had rid them of Zapp's obnoxious singing. Fry smiled and bowed to them.

"Thank you! You're too kind!" He then proceeded to steal Zapp's caramel apple, took a bite of it, and climbed down from the table before heading back over to his friends.

"You really need to teach me how to do that." Said Kif. "Punch?" He handed Fry a glass of punch; Fry took the glass from him and smiled.

"I'd be glad to. Cheers!" He and Kif clinked their glasses together and drank. Suddenly, the doors swished open and Professor Farnsworth entered the room, all decked out in his Dumbledore costume.

"Good news, First Years!" He greeted all the guests. "I've added some upgrades to the What-If machine! Come and have a look!"

"Maybe later, Professor." Fry declined, taking another bite out of the apple. "We're busy enjoying the party right now."

"Oh lord... Zapp's awake..." Grumbled Leela. Everyone looked back over at Zapp, watching as he opened his eyes and shakily got to his feet. He seemed a bit dazed and confused from the neck pinch, but was otherwise unharmed. He groaned and gingerly touched his fingertips to his neck, wincing when they made contact.

"Ow… my neck feels like it's been twisted off… hey, what happened to my caramel apple!?" He exclaimed, realizing that his snack had gone missing. Fry, not wanting to be caught as the culprit, quickly shoved the rest of the apple into his mouth and discreetly tossed the stick into the garbage. Thankfully, Zapp didn't seem to notice.

"Ah, well," he sighed, "I'll just get another one. Anyways, back to singing! Ahem... SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SPEAK WITH SUCH A SCREECH, YOU'LL SHAKE AND SHUDDER IN SURPRISE WHEN YOU HEAR THESE ZOMBIES SHRIEK!"

"You know, on second thought, maybe checking out the What-If machine isn't such a bad idea! It sure beats listening to Zapp!" Fry decided. "Let's go, Leela!" He grabbed Leela's hand and the two of them hurried out of the conference room with the other party goers following close behind them.

* * *

><p>Once they reached Professor Farnsworth's lab, everyone gathered around one of the counters, where the What-If machine was on display. The machine looked basically the same as the last time everyone had seen it, only this time it was covered in what looked to be some sort of brown fabric-like material.<p>

"This is supposed to be an upgrade?" Asked Zapp, who had wandered in after finally realizing that nobody had stuck around to listen to his singing. "All you did was cover the thing in rags!"

"It's not covered in rags, you dolt!" Professor Farnsworth snapped at him. "I just decorated it like the Sorting Hat for Halloween! Haven't you ever read Harry Potter!?" Zapp shook his head.

"Nah. I haven't even watched the movies." He confessed. "To be honest, I'm not really interested in Harry Potter. It's just a bunch of stupid dorky wizard crap, after all." The professor was outraged. How dare he insult Harry Potter! He whipped out a fake wizard wand and started beating Zapp upside the head with it.

"Avada Kedavra! Crucio! Imperio!" He yelled. "Damn! Why don't these curses work in real life?"

"Stop that before you get sent to Azkaban!" Scolded Scruffy, pulling the professor away from Zapp.

"Oh, fine..." He huffed, reluctantly slipping the wand back into his pocket. "Anyways, Zapp's dislike of Harry Potter aside, does anyone want to ask the What-If machine a question?"

"Ooh! Me! Pick me!" Zapp exclaimed, raising his hand and jumping up and down excitedly. Like an annoyed teacher, Professor Farnsworth blatantly ignored him and looked for someone else to pick. His eyes fell upon Fry.

"How about you, Fry? Do you have anything you'd like to ask?" Fry thought for a moment, trying to come up with a good question.

"Well... Bender and I have been playing this new horror game that just came out recently. It's called Five Nights at Freddy's, and it's really fun! Kind of scary, yeah, but still fun!" He explained.

"Oh, I know that game!" Zapp interrupted. "Some guy on whotube wrote a song about it! Wanna hear me sing it? WE'RE WAITING EVERY NIGHT TO FINALLY ROAM AND INVITE NEWCOMERS TO PLAY WITH US FOR MANY YEARS WE'VE BEEN ALL ALONE-" He paused suddenly as two hands came to rest upon him, one on each shoulder. Glancing to his left, he saw Kif, and to his right was Fry. They glared at him; it was obvious that they were not in the mood for more of his singing.

"Shut up before Fry and I go all Leonard Nimoy on your ass!" Kif threatened as he and Fry simultaneously tightened their grip. It wasn't enough to knock Zapp out, but it was enough to intimidate him. He didn't want to fall victim to the Vulcan neck pinch a second time that night, so he wisely kept quiet. Satisfied with his silence, Kif and Fry dropped their hands back down to their sides and Fry continued with his question.

"Anyways, Professor, I was wondering what it would be like if Five Nights at Freddy's was real." Seeing this as a suitable question, Professor Farnsworth turned to the machine and wielded his fake wand once more.

"Oh glorious What-If machine, what if Five Nights at Freddy's was real?" He asked it. "Buttonious pressius!" He pressed a button with the tip of his wand; everyone crowded close to the counter for a better view as the normally purple screen faded into a what-if scenario.

* * *

><p>It was just another uneventful Monday afternoon at Planet Express. There hadn't been any deliveries that day-or for the past two weeks, for that matter-so everyone was just bumming around in the employee lounge. Fry and Leela were cuddled up on the couch together watching The Scary Door, Scruffy was mopping up some Slurm that Fry had accidentally spilled earlier, Zoidberg and Hermes were playing a game of 3D scrabble at the table nearby, and Amy was pacing around trying to get ahold of Kif on her cellphone. For the millionth time that day, she was greeted with only his voice mail. Feeling frustrated, she swore in Cantonese and angrily stuffed the phone back into her pocket.<p>

"Kif's still not answering his phone?" Leela asked her. Amy nodded.

"Yeah! This is getting ridiculous!" She complained. "I haven't heard a thing from him since last Thursday night when he texted me about some temporary job that he and Zapp were finishing up. He promised me that he'd be back by Saturday morning, but he never came home, he's not answering my calls, and I have no idea where he could be!"

"Maybe Zapp knows where he is." Fry interrupted. "Have you tried calling him?"

"Yeah! He won't answer his phone either!" Amy replied. She sighed and slumped back against the wall, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "I really wish Kif would come home, or at the very least call me back or something. I'm getting worried about him…" Just then, the doors swished open, and Professor Farnsworth shuffled into the room.

"Good news, everyone!" He exclaimed jubilantly. "I'm sending you out on a delivery!"

"A delivery? Excellent, excellent!" Zoidberg cheered. "It's been forever since we've gone on one! Where are we going?"

"You're going to be delivering some pizza dough to Bender Rodriguez's Pizza, a family restaurant and entertainment center." Professor Farnsworth announced.

"Bender Rodriguez's Pizza? I don't think we should go there, Professor. I heard that place was haunted." Fry mumbled uneasily.

"Well, I don't know if it's haunted," Said Leela, "but I read an article a couple years ago about an incident there where some kids supposedly went missing and were murdered."

"I saw that too!" Amy cut in. "Apparently, some spleazeball in a Bender costume lured five kids into a back room and killed them. But even though a suspect was arrested, nobody ever found the bodies."

"There's been this rumor goin' around that they were stuffed inside the restaurant's robot mascots." Scruffy replied.

"I think it's more than a rumor!" Cried Hermes. "LaBarbara and I took Dwight there once when he was little, and I swear I saw some blood leaking from the robots' eyes and mouths!"

"Oh, poppycock! You were probably just seeing things! There's nothing wrong with Bender Rodriguez's Pizza!" Professor Farnsworth scoffed. "Besides, I've already hired you out to guard the place, so you're going there whether you like it or not!" As was expected, the crew was less than thrilled about this.

"Dang nabbit, why'd you go and do that?" Scruffy grumbled.

"We haven't had any deliveries in two weeks; we need the money! Granted four bucks an hour isn't very much, but money is money all the same!" The crew still didn't seem all that enthusiastic. Professor Farnsworth sighed. It seemed like he'd need to do a little negotiating with them. "Alright, I'll make this a bit easier for you. We're guarding the pizzeria for five nights, and there are six of you, so I'll only make five of you guard, and you'll only have to do it for one night each. That's better than all six of you spending the entire week there, isn't it?" Everybody thought this over for a minute and decided that it was a fair compromise. But now there was the matter of choosing who would guard to attend to.

"How are we gonna decide who guards and who doesn't?" Asked Amy.

"Why don't we flip a coin or something?" Leela suggested.

"I think we should draw straws! But not just any straws-silly straws!" Professor Farnsworth decided. He whipped out a pack of silly straws of varying lengths and colors; everyone looked at him like he was crazy, which he most likely was.

"Silly straws? Really, mon?" Hermes muttered flatly.

"Cubert has a lot of them left over from his growth scraping day party and I don't have anything better to use them for." The professor admitted. "Anyways, just close your eyes-or in Leela's case, eye-and pick a straw! Whoever gets the shortest one is exempt from guarding." Everyone closed their eyes and reached out for a straw. Once all the straws had been picked, they opened their eyes and held them out for Professor Farnsworth to see. He looked over all the curly, twisty, colorful tubes, comparing their lengths with one another.

"Alright, Fry got the shortest one so he doesn't have to guard this week." He finally announced.

"Woo!" Fry cheered as the others shot him envious looks.

"Zoidberg got the longest one, so he'll guard first. Leela will guard second, Scruffy will guard third, Amy will guard fourth, and Hermes will guard last." The professor continued. "It seems like an easy enough job. Now why don't you all go down to the hangar and load the ship up? I'll join you in a little while." The crew still wasn't too happy about having to guard the place, but they knew they weren't going to get out of it. They threw their silly straws down on the coffee table and headed into the hangar to load the ship up with the pizza dough. Just as they were finishing, Professor Farnsworth walked in carrying a tray of Slurmtinis with the silly straws in them.

"Slurmtini, anyone?" He offered. Everyone grabbed a drink. "Also, Fry, it turns out you will have to guard after all."

"What!?" Fry sputtered, nearly choking on his Slurmtini. "Why!?"

"Well, I just got off the phone with the pizzeria's owner, and he said he'd pay us extra if I had one of you work overtime on Saturday. Granted fifty cents extra isn't very much, but like I said, money is money, and we need it!" The professor explained. Fry couldn't believe this.

"You're making me waste my precious Saturday evening just so we can get fifty cents extra!?" He exclaimed. "I could be spending that evening with Leela, not guarding some haunted Chuck E. Cheese's wannabe!"

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen!" Snapped the professor. "It's not like it's the last Saturday of your life or anything!"

"Yeah, Fry." Leela added. "One night at Bender's won't kill you. Besides, we can still spend Sunday evening together."

"Exactly! Now come on, we don't have all day! The sooner we deliver that dough, the sooner we can make some dough!" Professor Farnsworth declared. He shuffled into the ship, and the rest of the crew reluctantly followed him.

* * *

><p>In spite of it's dark past, the crew had to admit that Bender Rodriguez's Pizza seemed like a nice enough place. After they delivered the pizza dough, Professor Farnsworth headed off to find the restaurant's owner while everyone else stayed behind in the Dining Area. The six of them hung out at a table towards the back of the room, far away from the noisy children crowded around the front.<p>

"You know, this place actually doesn't seem all that bad." Fry admitted, resting his arms atop the back of an empty chair as he took a look around. There wasn't the slightest sign that this place was haunted. Maybe it really was just a rumor.

"These party hats are so cute!" Amy squealed, noticing the colorful striped party hats that lined the room's tables. A waiter passed by carrying a plate of pizza, which immediately caught Zoidberg's attention. His stomach growled and his mouth watered as he caught a whiff of the freshly baked food.

"Mmm… that pizza smells so good!" He tried to discreetly follow the waiter, but Hermes caught him by the collar of his coat and held him back.

"That's not your pizza, you filthy crab!" He scolded him.

"Yeah, it's for those young'uns over there." Scruffy added, nodding towards a group of children seated at a table at the very front of the room, right in front of the stage. The waiter set the pizza down before them, but the kids didn't pay any mind to it. Their attention was focused solely on the stage, upon which stood the restaurant's main attraction: the Rodriguez Band. The band consisted of the restaurant's three robot mascots: Bender Rodriguez, Calculon, and Hedonismbot. Bender, the title character, was a bending unit in a black top hat and matching black bowtie. He held a microphone and he was the band's main singer. Calculon was a tall, dashing gold robot who wore a red bow tie and held a red and white electric guitar. Obviously, he served as the band's guitarist. Hedonismbot was the fattest of the three, and instead of a bow tie or a hat, he wore a large white bib that read "LET'S EAT!" in fun bubble letters. He also held some sort of odd robotic cupcake with eyes and fangs, and he served as the band's back up singer.

"Those robots sure are creepy looking…" Leela commented.

"Yeah, but those little kids really like them." Amy noted. The children were all laughing and cheering and squealing with delight as the three robots performed for them. As Calculon strummed his guitar, Bender and Hedonismbot began singing their signature song, 'Pizza is Great', to the tune of the Toreador March from Carmen. The kids all seemed to like it, but the crew thought it was super campy.

"This pizza song's really cheesy-no pun intended." Fry whispered to Zoidberg.

"Yeah, it sure is!" The doctor agreed. "Hey, what's behind that curtain over there?" He asked, pointing his claw at a curtain adjacent to the stage. The curtain was purple and was covered in stars and sparkles; in front of it was a small sign reading "Sorry! Out of Order".

"That's for me to know and you to not find out." Said a new voice. Everyone turned around and saw that Professor Farnsworth had returned, accompanied by none other than Elzar, the famed Neptunian chef.

"Wow! It's Elzar!" Fry gasped in astonishment.

"The one and only! BAM!" Elzar replied. "So, you're my new night guards, ey?"

"Unfortunately." Muttered Leela.

"Well then, I guess I better go over a few things before you start the job." Elzar decided. "Let's talk about your hours first. You'll be guarding the pizzeria for six hours each night, from twelve o' clock midnight to six in the morning. Also, since business has been bad lately, we've had to make some budget cuts. Because of this, we can only afford a limited supply of power during the night. If you use it all up, the power will shut off and won't come back on until six. And believe me-you REALLY don't want to run out of power."

"Well guh! Then we'd be sitting in the dark!" Amy giggled lightheartedly. Elzar, however, wasn't laughing. A solemn look came over his face, quite different from his usual outgoing demeanor.

"You'll have to worry about more than the dark if the power runs out." Was all that he said. Amy was confused by this cryptic response, but she decided not to probe further, so Elzar continued explaining things. "Ahem... anyways, you guys will be staying in the security office and using the laptop in there to check the security cameras. The office has two reinforced power-lock doors, one leading into the West Hall and another leading into the East Hall. Each door has a light that can be activated with a button near the doorway, and the doors can be opened and closed with another button just above the one for the light. So yeah… that pretty much covers everything. All you need to do is monitor the cameras and ensure the safety of the restaurant's equipment and robot characters. We're not responsible for any injury or dismemberment on the job. Any questions?" Hermes raised his hand.

"Do we have to wear uniforms or anything?" He asked. Elzar shook his head.

"Nah. I used to make my guards wear them, but then... well… let's just say that the dry cleaning bills were getting too expensive and leave it at that." He replied, looking a bit uneasy. "So, which one of you is guarding tonight?"

"It's me!" Said Zoidberg as he raised his claw.

"Your shift doesn't start for another couple of hours, so you can either go home and wait or hang out here until then, maybe get some pizza or something. Employees eat here free." Naturally, Zoidberg was delighted to learn this information.

"Free pizza…" He sighed dreamily, his mouth starting to water again.

"Well, it looks like you're all set here Zoidberg." Said Professor Farnsworth. "You can tell us how the night went tomorrow at work."

"I still have to come in to work tomorrow?" Zoidberg asked dejectedly.

"Of course you do, you over-sized crab!" Hermes snapped. "We don't pay you to stay holed up in your dumpster all day!"

"You hardly even pay me at all!" Zoidberg pointed out. But both Hermes and the professor ignored him and had already started to head out. The rest of the crew said their goodbyes and followed him. Once everyone was gone, Zoidberg turned to Elzar and grinned.

"So, about that free pizza..."

* * *

><p>After several hours of gorging himself on pizza, Zoidberg was feeling great and was ready to start guarding. It was eleven fifty, and his shift began in ten minutes. The customers and staff had all gone home long ago, and the only person left was Elzar.<p>

"Hey, I'm gonna leave for the night." He said to him. "You should head off to the security office now." Zoidberg nodded.

"Alright. Goodnight!" He replied. With that, he rose from his seat and sand-crabbed off towards the security office. As he headed for the exit, Elzar paused for a moment and cast a worried glance at the robot mascots, standing motionless atop the stage. Then, he looked over his shoulder in the direction of the security office, where he could see Zoidberg sitting down at the desk through the window. Elzar sighed pitifully and continued towards the exit.

"Goodnight, lobster man. And good luck-you're gonna need it."

To be continued…

**Author's Note: This was originally going to be a oneshot, but it got too long (TheAnnoyingAlien has problems being concise lol) so I decided to make it a multi-chapter fic. Also, I'm really sorry for posting this so late (Halloween ends in just two hours lol) but I had school today and I went out trick or treating with my friends so I was kind of pressed for time. But yeah, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Please leave me a review with your thoughts on the fic so far, and be sure to stay tuned for chapter two, in which we'll find out how Zoidberg's night went. So yeah... that's all for now. I hope you had a safe and fun Halloween, everybody! :)  
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**Songs Used: Eat, Fry, Love by William Shatner and John Boswell, Spooky Scary Skeletons by Andrew Gold, Five Nights at Freddy's by thelivingtombstone **

****Futurama and all related characters belong to Matt Groening and David X. Cohen****

**Five Nights at Freddy's and all related characters belong to Scott Cawthon**


	2. Chapter 2

**"Five Nights at Bender's"**

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this in so long! When I started writing this, only the first Five Nights at Freddy's had been released and the sequel was in the works. Now, it's been a little over a year since the first game was released, the sequel is out, and there's also a third game, a fourth game, and a Five Nights at Freddy's movie currently being made by Warner Bros. Just goes to show how lazy of an author I am and how long it takes me to update shit lol… anyways, here's the long overdue second chapter, and I hope you enjoy it. I'm going to try and get this story finished by this coming Halloween, which should be doable if I work diligently, but I'm not making any promises. I started working on my own original webcomic series back in January and I'm starting my senior year of high school so I have to worry about my grades, SATs, college application stuff, etc, and that's keeping me busy… anyways, enjoy the chapter.**

12:00 A.M.

1st Night

Zoidberg booted up the laptop and did a cursory check on all the cameras. The robots were in their proper places on the stage and nothing seemed amiss, though he did discover that the camera in the kitchen was broken. It wouldn't show a video feed, but it was still able to transmit audio. Zoidberg momentarily wondered why Elzar hadn't had the camera fixed, but then he remembered all the budget cuts he'd mentioned and chalked it up to that. Flipping to the camera in the east hall, his eyes fell upon a poster with a list titled "Rules For Safety". Zoidberg leaned in close to the monitor and squinted to better make out the text.

"Don't run. Don't yell. Don't scream. Stay close to Mom. Don't touch Bender. Don't hit. Don't poop on the floor? What kind of a rule is that?!" Suddenly, the phone started ringing. "Who's calling at this time of night?" He wondered aloud. He pressed the talk button and held the phone's receiver up to where his ear would have been if he were a human. "Hello?"

"Um… hello? Hello?" Zoidberg's eyes widened. He recognized that voice!

"Kif?" He exclaimed. What was Kif doing calling him at a time and place like this? Why was he calling him to begin with? Why wasn't he calling Amy instead? "Kif, where have you been? Where are you at? Amy's worried sick about you!"

"Oh, uh… if you're listening to this, then you must be the new night guard! I, uh, wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night." Zoidberg frowned; it was just a recording. Nevertheless, he was curious about what Kif had to say, so he kept listening.

"Kif, let me talk!" A new voice cut in. Zoidberg grimaced, recognizing it as Zapp. The captain cleared his throat before continuing to speak. "I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service." Zoidberg rolled his eyes at this, while Kif sighed in the background of the recording. "Anyways, my assistant Kif and I worked in that office before you."

"Well, we actually work for the DOOP, but we temporarily took this part time job because we needed the extra money to pay off a fine, thanks to Captain Cretin." Kif muttered. "I seriously don't know how we managed to get off so lightly, considering you destroyed the DOOP headquarters _again_."

"Kif! Shush!" Zapp scolded him. "Anyways, we're finishing up our last week here now. So, we know it can be a bit overwhelming, but we're here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. You'll be fine! So, let's just focus on getting you through your first night, okay? Okay."

"Oh, uh, let's see… first there's an introductory greeting from the company that we're supposed to read. Um, i-it's a legal thing..." The sound of paper rustling was heard, and Kif cleared his throat before speaking again. "Uh, 'Welcome to Bender Rodriguez's Pizza, a magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Rodriguez Entertainment is not responsible for any damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death have occurred, a missing person's report will be filed within ninety days, or as soon as the property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced-"

"Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know!" Zapp interrupted, "But there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the robot characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these robots hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay."

"Um, just be aware, the robots do tend to wander a little. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Elzar said something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Stabbing of '87..." Kif mumbled.

"Yeah. It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?" Zapp laughed awkwardly.

"Um… yes Sir, it is… uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these robots, uh… if they happen to see you after hours, they probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Bender Rodriguez's Pizza, they'll probably try to, um... forcefully stuff you inside a Bender Rodriguez suit. Now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices-especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... and death…"

"The only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask… heh... yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. We'll chat with you tomorrow. Check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, goodnight." With that, the call ended. Zoidberg was horrified.

"GOODNIGHT?!" He cried. "How am I supposed to have a good night when these killer robuts are out to get me!?" He was afraid and wanted nothing more than to just sand-crab out of there and retreat to the safety of his dumpster, but he realized that was futile. Kif said the robots wandered around at night; what if he ran into one of them while trying to escape? They'd stuff him in a suit for sure! It was safer to stay holed up in the office, where he at least had reinforced metal doors to protect him. Deciding that he might as well try to do his job in spite of the imminent danger, Zoidberg grabbed the laptop and switched to the stage camera. Bender and Hedonismbot were still there, unmoving and dormant, but Calculon was missing.

"Oh no! Where'd that robut go!?" Zoidberg cried, frantically switching through the feeds in an attempt to locate the missing bot. He finally discovered Calculon in the backstage area, standing idly among the spare robot suits and endoskeletons while staring at the camera. Zoidberg breathed a sigh of relief. Calculon might have moved, but he was still nowhere near his office. He was safe… for now. He flipped through the cameras again, but nothing else changed so he gently set the laptop down on the desk, scuttled over to the left door, and pressed the button for the door lights. A flickering blue light lit up the doorway, but there was nothing there. Zoidberg repeated this process with the other door, and there was nothing there either. Relieved, he returned to the desk and checked the cameras to see if Calculon was still in the same spot. He was, and Bender and Hedonismbot hadn't budged either. Zoidberg repeated this cycle of checking the doors and then checking the cameras a few times, and he soon noticed that Calculon had moved to the dining area. He was standing completely still between two party-hat lined tables and once again staring intently at the camera.

"The robut might have moved, but he's still far away from the office." Zoidberg noted. "I'm okay… I think." He glanced up at the digital clock on the wall, displaying the current time in blocky white numbers. It was three a.m.; Zoidberg took a deep breath and tried to steady himself.

"You can do this Zoidberg, you're halfway there…" He checked the cameras again, but the video feed was momentarily replaced by crackling static. Panicking, he rapidly flipped between cameras, hoping that that would remedy the situation. It didn't, but the problem eventually fixed on its own, and the feed reappeared. Checking the stage again, Zoidberg saw that only Bender remained there. He found Calculon standing in the corner of the supply closet, once again staring down the camera, but he wasn't able to locate Hedonismbot. Setting the laptop aside, he went over to the left door and switched on the lights. Nothing was there. He made his way to the right door and did the same thing, and while there was nothing in the doorway, Zoidberg was startled to see a familiar face staring in through the office window. It was none other than Hedonismbot. The robot grinned a sickening grin and waved at him.

"Hello, handsome!" He smirked. Zoidberg screamed and slammed his claw down on the door button; the right door came down and sealed him off from his potential attacker. He scuttled back over to the desk and cowered behind the laptop, hoping with all four of his hearts that Hedonismbot would go away soon. He couldn't afford to keep the door shut for very long; it wasted way too much power. Still shaken from his encounter with the robot, he checked the cameras again and noticed that Calculon had moved into the west hall. Zoidberg could just barely make out his silhouetted form in the grainy camera feed, standing motionless at the far end of the hallway. He switched to the stage camera and noticed that Bender was still there, but instead of facing forward towards the dining area, he was now staring dead at the camera, and his eyes looked different. They were completely black, except for a pair of tiny white pinprick pupils.

"Can this place get any creepier!?" Zoidberg cried. He flipped to another camera and realized that Calculon had moved from the end of the west hall into its corner. He was very close to the office now, but he wasn't moving at all and he wasn't right outside the door like Hedonismbot, so Zoidberg didn't consider him much of a threat. Looking at the clock again, he saw that it was now four a.m.

"Only two hours left and I'm out of here! I can do this!" He got up and switched on the right door light; Hedonismbot was still outside the window. He smiled that sickening smile again.

"Shall we adjourn backstage so I can slip you into your suit?" He asked suggestively.

"No! I'm not an endoskeleton! Go away!" Zoidberg snapped. He shut off the right door light and headed over to check the left door, but when he pressed the button, the light didn't come on. Confused, he jabbed it a couple more times, but it still wouldn't work. Zoidberg let out a frustrated groan and threw his claws up.

"This place is falling apart! Sure, they can afford to give their employees free pizza, yet they can't keep the power on for the entire night, or fix the kitchen camera, and now the light is broken!" He complained. Forgetting the light for the moment, he grabbed the laptop and flipped through the cameras again. He saw that Hedonismbot had moved away from his office and was now standing in the dining area, side eyeing the camera. Bender was still in his spot on the stage and still glowering at the camera with his horrifying pinprick eyes, but where was Calculon? Zoidberg couldn't find him on any of the cameras.

"Oh no! Where is he? Where is he!?" He panicked, desperately switching from camera to camera. Maybe he just wasn't looking hard enough. Perhaps Calculon was hiding in a dimly lit area of one of the rooms. Or perhaps he had wandered into the kitchen and wasn't visible. Suddenly, Zoidberg heard the sound of loud, heavy metallic footsteps. He froze in fear; the footsteps were followed by what sounded like someone very quietly saying the word "dramatic", and Zoidberg realized that he wasn't alone. Terrified, he cautiously lowered the laptop screen. Standing before him, face just mere inches from his own, was Calculon.

"PAUSE!" The robot shouted, immediately springing upon the doctor before he had time to react. Zoidberg shrieked in terror and made an attempt to sand-crab away, but it was all in vain. Calculon's mechanical claws closed tightly around the alien's wrists, and he struggled helplessly as he was dragged out of the office and down one of the halls. Zoidberg whimpered in pain; Calculon's grip was so tight that he could feel his shell starting to crack under its force.

"Let me go, robut!" He begged. "I'm a doctor, not an endoskeleton! Where are you taking me!?" Calculon said nothing and continued dragging him along. Eventually, they reached the backstage area, where all the spare suits were kept. Calculon deposited Zoidberg onto a table next to a spare endoskeleton and, using one claw to keep him pinned in place, reached for a spare Hedonismbot suit head with the other. The doctor watched in horror as Calculon grabbed him by the neck and held the suit head directly above him, raising his arm up as if he were preparing to slam the thing down. Zoidberg let out a loud screech, mouth tentacles flapping in all directions, as the Hedonismbot head came smashing down on his own head, and everything went black.

**Author's Note: Poor Zoidberg :( but yeah… the Planet Express crew is taking on the role of the night guard Mike Schmidt while Bender, Calculon, and Hedonismbot are serving as Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, and Chica, and Zapp and Kif are both serving as the Phone Guy. With that information, anyone who's played Five Nights at Freddy's should be able to guess why Zapp and Kif have gone mysteriously missing, but I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't played. You'll find out in chapter five. Once again, thank you for reading and I apologize for taking so long to update.**

**Futurama and all related characters belong to Matt Groening and David X. Cohen**

**Five Nights at Freddy's and all related characters belong to Scott Cawthon**


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